Currently, while writing this, I am at 30,000 feet headed across the country, Portland to Boston. The flight has been mostly smooth; the only excitement was my flair up of morning sickness that started right as I found my seat. We took off out of the blanket of fog that had descended on the city this morning, which is somehow more beautiful from above. We traveled over patchwork areas of all shades of brown and green, over mountains and lakes, and miles of puffy white clouds, all on the quest to find the other side of country.
What I really wanted to talk about for this trip is…the panic that comes with packing. Not only packing, but packing when you don’t know what is going to fit. I am at a stage where my old “pre-pregnancy” clothes fit, sort of. Certain areas of my body fit fine in my clothes and other do not. My available items to choose from has grown smaller and smaller and I don’t really want to buy a bigger size that I hopefully won’t wear after the birth. With this in mind, I have a wonderful friend who is letting me borrow some of her clothes, but I am not really at the point where I need them that big yet. So, in them I just look fat, fat in baggy ill-fitting clothes.
So, right now, what I am wondering is, when will I start to look pregnant and not just fat? I was not skinny pre-pregnancy, at least 15 pounds overweight and I was bumpy before. Now I am extra bumpy, things in my midsection are moving and shifting to new locations and the bumps are getting bigger in areas I had not expected.
All of this is wreaking havoc with my body image, which I didn’t like much to begin with and making me want to exercise a lot and try to lose body fat. I just don’t know if that is safe or how to do it. According to my BMI I should only gain about 20 pounds (I think) and I just not sure how one is suppose to go about doing that.
I am ready to have a belly that looks like a baby belly and not just one gained by years of cookie eating and TV watching.
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You crack me up. I totally understand wanting to still look "cute" while being pregnant, but make sure you are comfortable. I remember when I was pregnant with Aiyana, I did not want to start wearing maternity clothes because I felt it was too early in my pregnancy. I broke down and bought a pair of jeans with that ugly stretchy elastic waist. They were like heaven! I wore them all the time because they were so comfortable and I got a lot of use out of them after my pregnancy as well. I gained 35 pounds with her and I did not lose the weight over night. With Chloe, I walked almost everyday of my pregnancy. I threw Aiyana in the stroller and walked the neighborhood. I did not totally gorge out on crap I shouldn't eat and I gained just under 25 pounds. I was safe, I was suppose to gain 25 to 35 pounds. Both pregnancies, I still felt fat and yucky, but know your body is working a miracle, creating something beautiful. Every last bump will be completely worth it. And, this is nothing, just wait for the stretch marks! Make sure you are rubbing yourself down with cocoa butter cream, all the time!
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