At the last doctor’s appointment our midwife asked if, we have a boy, we wanted to circumcise.
I thought I knew what the answer would be but now I am not sure. When I really started thinking about it I realized that I had a lot of questions.
Who are we to decide what his penis should look like? Is there a big difference between circumcised and not? (Health wise our midwife (and the research I have done) says there is no difference.) What if we do it and there are complications? What if we don’t do it and there are complications?
If we do it, it will hurt him. Won’t having a diaper on hurt? But, then again, it will hurt less now, when he won’t remember than if it was done later. It is possible that if we don’t do it, will it be hard to keep clean when he is older than toddler age, when we are not in charge of keeping that area clean?
The procedure is not an exact science. There could be infection because there is a cut. There could be a less then optimum cosmetic outcome. They could take too much or too little skin. Or both.
Statically, circumcision is preformed in about half the baby boys born in this area. So, I don’t think that “looks“will be a factor as he grows up. Either way he will probably look like other boys. I just don’t know what to do.
What I have been doing so far is hoping that the baby is a girl…so I don’t have to make the decision. :o)
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ReplyDelete"What I have been doing so far is hoping that the baby is a girl...so I don't have to make the decision."
I don't understand why so many parents have convinced themselves that circumcision is a decision they HAVE to make. Yes, parents have many decisions to make about their children but there's no reason this needs to be one of them. There's no other normal, healthy, non-renewable part that may be cut off a boy's body without serious medical need.
I make choices that have to be made now for his well being but I don't decide for him other issues that can wait (career choice, who to marry etc...). I'm more pro choice than anti circumcision; if the child wants to be circumcised later in life, he can have the proedure done like any other cosmetic surgery.
"Who are we to decide what his penis should look like?"
ReplyDeleteAs his parents, you are the best people to make that decision, second only to him deciding for himself.
"Is there a big difference between circumcised and not? (Health wise our midwife (and the research I have done) says there is no difference.)"
There is no compelling health reason to circumcise.
"What if we do it and there are complications?"
Complications are more common than most people think. They are usually, but not always minor. Read this from a pediatric urologist who specializes in treating the complications.
"What if we don’t do it and there are complications?"
Like the rest of your child's body, if a problem arises, you deal with it. Consider Finland, where circumcision is rare. Only 1 in 16,667 ever have a circumcision later in life for medical reasons.
A normal, intact penis is very low maintenance. Basically, you just leave it alone. Its parents who think it requires work who can cause problems. Just wipe it like a finger. Never try to retract, and make sure his doctors understand this, because many American doctors are misinformed.
"If we do it, it will hurt him. Won’t having a diaper on hurt? But, then again, it will hurt less now, when he won’t remember than if it was done later."
It will hurt any time it is done, but as noted above, it is extremely unlikely it will ever need to be.
"It is possible that if we don’t do it, will it be hard to keep clean when he is older than toddler age, when we are not in charge of keeping that area clean?"
No, it will not be hard to keep clean. His teeth will be hard to keep clean, requiring several minutes of careful brushing several times per day. That takes time and effort. However rinsing his genitals takes just a moment.
One area of inquiry you did not mention is also important: What are the functions of the foreskin? You can find many resources about that here.
You are right to question the need for this surgery. It sounds like with the careful thought you are putting into this, you won't make the wrong decision!
Thank you both for your comments. I was really leaning toward not having it done and it is nice to know that others think this is not necessary. Thank you for all the great information!!
ReplyDeleteI never thought about circumcision as a "career choice, who to marry etc.." but I do see your point. It really isn't something that has to be decided now, or by me.
I really feel, that is not my place to decide for anyone how their body should "be" so removing something that doesn't "need" to be removed before he has a chance to think about it and decide what is best for him seems wrong.
There really will be more pressing well being type things to take care of, like teeth care. :o)
Thanks again.